Dead Unfunny.

‘Deadpool’ then.

Like being locked in a room with American frat boys, tanked up on red bull, all screaming for your attention. Sweary boy banter, dull action and ‘Family Guy’ unfunny humour. Mostly jokes that aren’t even jokes at all - just insults or snide phrases instead of punchlines or wit or observation. The sort of film that high fives itself every time someone gets a headshot. Deliberately trying to provoke you - but would buckle immediately if you told it to turn it down. Teenage bullshit. I mentally walked out after ten minutes.

‘Deadpool’ is so self aware tha t it goes to great lengths to point out how clever it is at subverting superhero conventions - whilst slavishly abiding to them. Each excess boringly repetitive. A chewing gum movie. Stretching, stretching on and on long after it has become become tasteless.

Deadpool breaks the fourth wall. Deadpool thrusts his groin at us. Deadpool wanks in secret. Deadpool prattles on and on like the boorish self-satisfied prick that he is.

Deadpool can fuck off

And clearly awful, cheesy, middle of the road music is a thing now in Marvel movies.

Looking forward to twenty years of Deadpool memes

Looking forward to twenty years of people telling me Deadpool is their favourite film.

Truly fucking awful. Immediately gets the number one spot in my list of “Films Everyone Loves But I Really Hate’.