Does it feel like Marvel and DC own your lives until 2020?
Does it feel like you are a non person unless you are kept in a fever pitch of adolescent excitement by relentless marketing campaigns?
Does it feel like the death of cinema?
Here's my predictions for the next five years....
2015:
May 1: Avengers: Age of Ultron
....it's alright....
July 17: Ant-Man
....alright....but not as good as Avengers: Age of Ultron
August 7: Fantastic Four
....a missed opportunity (again!)....
2016:
February 12: Deadpool
....a man with a gun...who really gives a shit?....
March 25: Batman V Superman
...Did anyone really expect this to be good?
May 6: Captain America: Civil War
...The Empire Strikes Back of Marvel films.....
May 27: X-Men: Apocalypse
....the exact point where superhero fatigue sets in...
August 5: Suicide Squad
....slit your wrists time....
November 4: Doctor Strange
..trippy hippy nonsense....but worth seeing just for Cumberbatch exclaiming: "By the hoary hosts of Hogarth!"
November 11: Sinister Six
...oh, good God, make it stop....
2017:
March 3: Untitled Wolverine sequel
....Doesn't Hugh Jackman look really old....
May 5: Guardians of the Galaxy 2
....'Copacabana' and 'Disco Duck' are on the soundtrack...
June 23: Wonder Woman
....phwoar!!.....
July 14: Fantastic Four 2
....four!....
July 28: Thor: Ragnarok
...Thor!...
November 3: Black Panther
....bore!.....
November 17: Justice League, Part 1
....chore!....
(unspecified tentative date): Venom: Carnage Spider-Man spin-off
...gore!...
(unspecified date): Untitled female Spider-Man spin-off
...itsy bitsy spider...
2018:
March 23: The Flash
....the flush more like...
May 4: Avengers: Infinity War, Part 1
....the post end credits scene is a classic...
July 6: Captain Marvel
...WTF did I just watch?....
July 13: Untitled Fox Mystery Marvel film
..finally, the Devil Dinosaur gets his own movie ...
July 27: Aquaman
...there are only two things in this world that smell of fish.....
November 2: Inhumans
...wanted for crimes against inhumanity....
(unspecified date): Amazing Spider-Man 3
....stop getting Spider-Man wrong!...
2019:
April 5: Shazam
....Billy don't be a hero!...
May 3: Avengers: Infinity War, Part 2
... anti-climax...
June 14: Justice League, Part 2
...sets up exciting possibilities for part 3.....yawn....
2020:
April 3: Cyborg
...the six dollar man....
June 19: Green Lantern
....lights on, nobody home....
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