Day 30- Your Favorite All Time Horror Movie

I'm a purist.

Day 29- Worst Horror Movie

'Don't Go In The Woods' (1981) is inept on every level. I swear that if I gave my cat a camera and a bag of treats she'd come up with something better than this turd about a madman/giant Ewok in the woods. How is it possible then that it was remade in 2010 as a slasher musical and it still manages to be worse than the original? Not cult. Not so bad it's good. Not camp. Just the worst. Both of them!

Day 28- Horror Film You'd Like To See Remade/ Rebooted

Instead of desecrating acknowledged classics why not take a movie where there’s lots of room for improvement and actually help fulfill its promise. Demons is a mid-eighties crap-a-thon but the idea of people trapped in a cinema whilst demonic forces come to life is full of possibilities. Go on Hollywood, give me a call and I'll tell you how to do this thing right.

Day 27-Your Guilty Pleasure Horror Movie

House of 1000 Corpses is a turgid piece of crap that needs flushing away. I can't defend it on any level. But I quite like it.

Day 26- Horror Movie For A Chicken

If you want to see a PG-13 rated movie that has a child lead, no gore, no monsters and yet still manages to be really scary...seek out 'Paperhouse'

Day 25- Favourite Christmas/ Holiday Horror Movie

There's a whole sub-genre of Xmas related horror movies but 'Black Christmas' is the only one you need bother with.

After 'Halloween' I think all the calendar dates have been exploited in one way or another. Except for Pancake Day. I reckon it could work:

Day 24- Horror Movie Character That Describes You

Is there a character that lives in a groundhog day nightmare where he takes on a 30 day horror challenge and then ends up thinking about horror movies in every waking moment to the point where it starts to rot his brain? Because I’d be him.

No? Well, if not I’d be Randy Meeks who knows all the rules but still dies in the sequel.

Day 23- A Great Quote From A Horror Movie

"I'll bet my badge that we haven't seen the last of those weirdies."

Just about every line from Plan 9 is quotable.

As a bonus here's my favourite horror related quote, from Italian director Lucio Fulci:

"I find a lot of what I film repugnant to me, but it has to be done. The scene where the girl vomits out all her intestines and guts was very important - and was insisted upon by my co-writer - as it is the first time we see the evil priest and what he can do."

Day 22 - Best Death Scene

You know the one.

Day 21 - Favourite Horror Franchise.

Phantasm. The law of diminishing returns applies with all horror franchises. A classic film generates sequels which become a brand which becomes merchandising which becomes a tedious array of parodies, rip offs, spin offs, tv series and reboots to the point where the original has no power any more. Phantasm is the exception that proves the rule. It starts off as a load of rubbish (or surreal vision depending on your taste) and stays there for the whole series. It doesn't really matter where you come in it's always going to be the same film: it's not going to make any sense, but you will have a fun time. It's a load of balls but consistently enjoyable.

Day 20 - Favourite Horror Character

You can keep your Freddys and your Jasons and your Michaels and other assorted psychos. They do not understand the poetry of life. Not like Dr. Anton Phibes.

Day 19- best use of gore

Best use of gore. Perhaps that's a category that they should introduce to the Academy Awards now that even the most mainstream of films contain things once considered extreme. Personally I'm no gore hound. I don't have a problem with it when I see it but I don't want to spend my days chasing it down. Nobody used gore better than Cronenberg and most of his films still hold up. Have Videodrome. Long live the new flesh.

Day 18- Favourite Horror Movie Filmed In Black And White

"Black and white takes you kind of far away. Some things are said better in it, some feelings come across better." - David Lynch

Day 17- Favourite 80's Horror

80s horror: slashers, sequels, body horror and bad synths. Not much has dated well. My favourite is still probably Hellraiser 2, just because I can remember chain-smoking my way through it, in those distant days when you could do such a thing in the cinema.

Day 16- Horror Film With A Great Soundtrack

John Carpenter or Goblin? Goblin or John Carpenter? Oh...call it a tie and have both.

In the recent (admittedly brilliant) series about soundtracks on BBC4 there wasn't one mention of John Carpenter. Let's put that right now...the Halloween theme is relentless, disorientating, unforgettable and just plain....evil: 

Goblin's soundtrack for Suspiria wasn't so much created in the studio as boiled up in a coven. Inventive, exciting and at times utterly terrifying in its sonic assault:

 

Day 15 - Favourite Monster Movie

 

The Creature From The Black Lagoon. I love this guy. He's so cool.

Day 14- Favorite Indie Horror Movie

 
Kill List. I know lots of people 'don't get it' and get all worked up about the ending but I think it's expertly pitched and controlled. For me the film is about the violence that dwells just below the surface. Every scene simmers with it. The end just hammers it home (pun intended). Intense, brilliant and filmed on my doorstep in Sheffield which makes it all the more terrifying.

Stop Hitting Me On The Head With Metaphors.

By the end of the film you will understand that Salmon Fishing In The Yemen is a metaphor.

It is a metaphor for faith making dreams come true. It is a metaphor for life, where we must all swim against the current to find our spiritual home. It is a metaphor for politics and business: through mutual exchange we might just all learn to get along. It's a metaphor that says: in a funny sort of way we all have to swim uphill to get what we really want - but if we don't know which way the river runs will we just be swimming the wrong way. It's a metaphor for...yes! yes! I get it! Stop hitting me on the head with your bloody metaphors!

I've not read the book but I imagine it's a pretty interesting and enjoyable read that mixes political satire with a human story and weaves those metaphors into a subtle and effective mix.

The film however is a piece of fluff that has nothing much to say beyond the usual rom-com cliches. Ewan Mcgregor doesn't like girl, then quite likes girl, then loses girl to another man, then gets girl back when girl decides she likes fish more than soldier boys. I felt sorry for soldier boy. He survived all that time in the desert thinking about her but then gets dumped when he says one little offhand thing about golf courses. Men! They just don't understand anything about salmon fishing in the Yemen. Anyhow, the moral of this tale seems to be this:  dump your wife if you're not getting enough sex and then shack up with a younger, prettier, more interesting model in an exciting foreign locale. Not only will you get more sex, be happier and have an interesting life, you will also be helping bring people together on a global scale. If you still haven't got it - here's a shot of a salmon doing a U-turn!

There's no chemistry at all between the leads and all the acting seems stiff and forced. We're supposed to care about Ewan Mcgregor's character because he's autistic - autism here clearly equates to boring. We're supposed to care about Emily Blunt's character because she's grieving over someone who may not even be dead and who she has only known for three weeks. We're supposed to care about the Sheikh because he's like really wise and deep and stuff. I didn't like any of the characters at all, in fact I think I just prefered it when you were hitting me on the head with metaphors.

Day 13- Favourite Zombie Movie

Dawn Of The Dead (1978)

I worked in a mall for 10 years. I'd think of this movie every day.

Day 12- Your Most Disturbing Horror Film

After I saw 'Surveillance' I didn't even want the DVD hanging around in the house. I've seen much more extreme films but nothing has got under my skin as much as this. It may not even technically be a 'horror' movie but if true horror comes from other people and what they might do then it absolutley is.

Day 11- Favorite Horror/ Comedy

 
An American Werewolf In London. It's like comfort food to me.

Day 10- Horror Movie Everyone Loves But You Don't

The Exorcist. Famously Mark Kermode's favourite film, always in top ten lists, a classic... blah, blah, blah. 

It's slow, mostly dull, badly dated and it's very, very silly. I understand it's impact and historical significance but I just don't get it.

 D'you hear me Pazuzu? I'm calling you out you big potty mouthed demon you.

Day 9- Favorite Supernatural Horror Movie

Ringu (1998)

Day 8 - Favourite Foreign Horror

Here's what you need to know about foreign horror: Italians like it stylish and extreme, the French like it realistic and extreme, the Spanish like it psychological and extreme and the Japanese like it crazy batshit and extreme.

Nothing, however, tops Suspiria.

Day 7- A Horror Movie You Think No One Has Seen

Day 6 - Favourite Vampire Movie

I've already posted Nosferatu , so I'll choose Daughters of Darkness (1971 )instead.

It's everything a vampire film should be: European, classy, creepy, kinky, weird, gloomy, bloody and it hasabsolutely nothing to do with the dating problems of high school girls.

Day 5 - Favorite Horror Remake

John Carpenter's remake of 'The Thing'.

Pingu's version is pretty good too:

Day 4- A Horror Movie You Thought You'd Love And Didn't

It pains me to say it but it has to be 'In The Mouth Of Madness'. I'm a big John Carpenter fan, I used to read Stephen King, I like Lovecraftian weirdness, I like Sam Neil. It has a great premise: the nightmarish events depicted in a writer's best-selling horror novels coming true. It sounds great. But. But...I felt let down when it came out and I've never been able to get into it since. It's too hammy, too meandering and just too badly executed. Not funny enough, not scary enough, not weird enough. It's where the rot set in for JC's career but to be honest I'd even take 'Ghosts of Mars' over this any day.

Day 3- Favorite Classic Horror Movie

Nosferatu (1922)

Day 2- The Last Horror Movie You Saw In The Theatre?

Day 1- Your First Horror Movie

You might call it a comedy but try telling that to my six year old self hiding behind the sofa.