It Gets Right On My 'John Wick'.

If someone held a gun to you head and forced you to come up with an idea for an action movie you'd probably come up with the plot for 'John Wick': A legendary underworld hit man is called out of "retirement" when some Russian mobsters steal his car and kill his dog just days after his wife dies from a terminal illness. The unluckiest man in the world will have his roaring rampage of revenge.

I mean this is real back of a fag packet stuff. There's Zen-like simplicity and then there's a one note idea stretched to breaking point. If 'John Wick' was a piece of music it would just be bass and drums for as long as you could bear it. Which is to say, it works, but you want something else happening over the top of it.

Now, I don't mind straightforward plots in a genre movie context....but....if you're only going to offer bare bones then you'd better dress it up with some interesting characters, existential gloss ('Le Samourai', 'Point Blank', 'Thief', 'Drive'), some stunning visuals or some jaw dropping action. Does 'John Wick' deliver? Well, a bit. But I can't deny that I was big time disappointed with it.

'John Wick' was preceded by a torrent of good word of mouth from The States where it was released last year and the impression given was that this was a bit of a game changer. But it isn't. It has its moments for sure but is also disappointingly mediocre, monotone and repetitive.

Here's what happens: John Wick walks into a nightclub packed to the rafters with heavily armed henchmen. He works his way around the building taking the bad guys out with ever more realistic headshots. Move, headshot, repeat. Crouch, headshot, repeat. Jump, headshot, repeat. Run, headshot, repeat. Etc, etc. Then move to a new location and start all over again. It's not a movie so much as a Playstation game. But that's not even my main problem with it. I've got lots of other gripes.

First up: Keanu Reeves. Despite being in some of the greatest action films of all time ('Speed', 'The Matrix', 'Point Break', I still find his presence in this as the ultimate badass laughable. It's such a blank canvas role that you can imagine any number of interchangeable action hero heads in the role and all of them making a better job of it. He's miscast. He could just about pull off the naive, gung-ho, cocky FBI type or even the everyman hero type in previous films....but the strong, silent type just leaves him looking unintentionally funny.

And then there's the action scenes. Impressively choreographed as they are (and they are) there is still something unimpressive about them. It looks like Reeves is just jumping through a series of pre-determined hoops. It may look balletic at times but it never really convinces. It never looks like he is reacting to anything, it never feels spontaneous. It may be fast, it may be furious but it always feels overly rehearsed....and because of that there is no tension, because you never really believe that he is in any danger...it all becomes about watching the mechanics of it all, rather than a cinematic spectacle that makes you feel the moment. It should be exhilarating, and it is at first, but it quickly becomes tedious. The film is only an hour and a half long, but still has you wishing it would wrap up twenty minutes before the end.

Plus there's the inherent problem of...how come, if he's such a badass, does he allow himself to be so compromised in the first place? And he's such a lightweight that he needs to be rescued by a sniper's bullet. That would never have happened to Statham. And this is what this is: a Jason Statham film without Jason Statham in it.

God only knows what attracted Willem Dafoe to this project. He gets beaten up, assembles a rifle and....er, that's it...apart from a funeral scene with Keanu. He can't be that hard up for cash can he?

And what's with the title? 'John Wick'. Sounds like a second rate standup comedian. Surely any generic action title would have been better than this. Call it 'Big Bad John', call it 'Johnny Mad Bastard', hell, even call it 'Marvel's The Punisher' because that's essentially what this is. 'John Wick'. I'm sorry, I'm bored already.

The film has one good idea: a safe-house hotel where gangsters can check in, unwind, get stitched up, stash weapons and hit the pause button on their gangster shit....no questions asked....as long as they agree to the house rules and don't conduct any "business" on the premises. That's a great idea. Think Hotel Babylon directed by Tarantino. I want to see that movie. Not this one.

It's fine Friday night entertainment. But nothing more. Nothing exceptional. It's generic, straight-to-DVD action fodder that somehow got itself an A-list star, good choreography and a decent budget. But nothing more. Nothing you've not seen a million times before.

The Magnificent Seven. Furious Seven.

True story: When I saw the original Fast and Furious in the cinema, way back in 2001,  I fell asleep; a near impossible feat I'm sure you'll agree.

There's no danger of that for 'Furious 7'. It's a film so packed full of thrills and spills that it defies you to not have a big stupid smile on your face for the whole running time. Really, it's a blast!

When has the seventh part of anything been any good? 'Furious' may well be the only cinematic franchise that gives incremental viewing pleasure.

In this one we find out that there's not a problem in the world that can't be solved by having the right car for the job and that even Los Angeles  isn't big enough for three bald-headed, testosterone-fuelled, action heroes to have a rumble in. Cars fly, asses get kicked, girls fight in evening dresses and cities burn. It's like a sweet, pure hit of every good bit from every action film ever. But it's good. Really good. Like they were really trying.

Obviously there's pathos here too; this being the late Paul Walker's final film. You get the sense that everyone involved in the making of this film raised their game to ensure that he had a worthy send off. His exit is really well handled.

It may only be a dumb action movie but it's a damn good one: great stunts, great fights, great lines, good humour. It's great to see Jason Statham as the bad guy for a change (guess what?, he's ex British special forces!). Kurt Russell manages to invigorate all the scenes he's in, despite being little more than Mr Exposition and the Product Placement Guy (seriously, the actual flow of the movie slows at one point just to mention Corona beers). There's always a perverse pleasure to be had in watching gravelly voiced Vin Diesel deliver all of his lines as if he's just had root canal work. No change there then. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is actually so good in it that you wish he had more scenes. Yes, I said more scenes. Michelle Rodriguez gets to do some proper acting (she's lost her memory or something), wear dresses, look gorgeous and go several rounds with martial arts bad ass Ronda Rousey - all at the same time. And Tony Jaa from Ong-bak is in it too.

Kudos to director James Wan who has effortlessly made the switch from mainstream horror (Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring) to mainstream action on what can't have been an easy shoot. With the weight of expectation on it, he's managed to draw the best out of everyone, keep the pace relentless and deliver the goods for fans and newcomers alike. On top of that there's a genuinely touching ending.

Along the way there's girl on girl violence, there's Stath on Rock violence, there's Vin on Stath violence, car on car violence, car on skyscraper violence and car on city violence.

The plot is pretty much a cut and paste of everything you would expect from this sort of film. There's revenge/payback motivation, there's a computer terrorism program that everyone is hunting for, etc, etc. But plot isn't why you're here. If you want plot with your car four wheeled thrills go and see 'Ronin'. If you want a real good escapist joy ride for two hours go and see 'Furious Seven'.

I want to be me! I'm gonna be free! 'The Divergent Series: Insurgent'

divergence
1. The action of diverging: moving off in different directions from the same point.

'The Divergent Series: Insurgent' (catchy title!) is one of those young adult, "Dystopian Future" movies that they have now instead of High School movies. Remember High School movies? Jocks, nerds and misfits battling each other for their place in the social pecking order. Long corridors full of lockers, yellow school buses, sports day humiliations and Prom dances. A soundtrack of non-threatening punky-pop sounds. The kids united in their first world problems ("Dad won't let me borrow his car!") and all that raging against the world that adults created. Yeah, well they don't make those any more. Unless there's a singing competition involved. Or vampires. Or both. I blame 'Glee' which seems to have seen off the genre for good.

What they have now is "Dystopian Futures". Instead of school you have a whole post apocalyptic world organised into factions. You have a feisty female trying to make sense of the world and the lies that she's been told. You have the beginnings of a rebellion and kicking against oppression. You get to blame your elders. There's an anxiety and paranoia about everything. You have betrayals and death- match fights to contend with. The villain is rich and smart and controlling. A bleak future is mapped out for you. And there's usually some great big "mad bugger's wall" to tear down before things can get better. In short these films are all about growing up and facing the fears of adulthood and responsibility. I love 'em! They're a lot more interesting than the high school soap operas of my day and we all need a break from vampires. In a world where most adults can't even face up to anything it is no wonder that these tales connect with a wide audience.

I'm sure that when the dust has settled on the decade  'The Divergent Series: Insurgent' will be looked upon favourably as one of the better examples of the genre. I like its 'Brave New World' caste-style social setup, it's fear of individuality and the idea that those who don't conform must be controlled. It's well done and  feels more believable to me as a possible future than that of 'The Hunger Games'. I think Tris is every bit as compelling a character as Katniss Everdeen but with the added advantage of not having a love-triangle thing holding her down all the time. Sure, she is motivated by love and sometimes she is saved because she is loved,  but at least we don't have to sit through the usual guff about choosing between 'team Hunky guy' and 'team sensitive guy'. Divergence seems to be less about romance and more about transcending the self. For me it's the better for it.

You also get a lot more thrills and spills for your money than the plodding, lugubrious 'Hunger Games' series. There's always something interesting happening; whether it's a well executed chase scene, a new concept, a fight or a dream-like visual effects sequence. Even the running-down-corridors-with-guns bits are good. There are moments where it all becomes as gloriously daft as anything in The Resident Evil series but the concepts keep it grounded and compelling. It's complicated but not confusing. The "are we still in a drug induced mind trial, or are we back in reality?" mind game playing is especially well done in this film (this is the 'Inception' of YA movies) and it props up a tense, exciting final act. It left me wanting answers; wanting more. Job done I'd say.